Solo sex or masturbation is most often a taboo subject, especially for vulva-havers. Before exiting the teenage years, the average penis-haver will have learned the best tips for masturbation. However, the average person assigned female at birth is often unaware of how to self-pleasure. As a result, it often bars them from enjoying (early) the benefits of self-pleasure.

This article seeks to rectify that anomaly. Here, you will find the various options to explore during solo sex. Bear in mind that just like sex, self-pleasure comes in different shades and variants. Thus, we will also be exploring the many combinations you can explore.


Why Solo Sex?

Why Solo Sex

The answer for this seems fairly obvious. However, a lot of vulva-havers are still skeptical about the benefits of solo pleasure. Below are the reasons you may want to explore solo sex.


If you have ever wondered how to give yourself an orgasm, solo sex might just be it. Self-pleasuring allows you to explore your body without a partner being present. Self-satisfaction then may only come through solo sex.

Health Benefits

Isn’t it great to learn that you could be positively impacting your health through masturbation? When you pleasure yourself, feel-good hormones release in your brain. These include dopamine and oxytocin. Also, orgasm could help strengthen your pelvis. Self-pleasure benefits also include the fact that it is one form of safe sex. You will not stand the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Improving the Quality of Sex

Self-pleasure tips typically help to improve your sex life. In the first place, you will get to identify your erogenous zones and what works and what doesn’t. Also, masturbation could help improve your partnered sex. It may help to direct your partner to the things that please you. Thus, learning how to please yourself can lead to amazing sex eventually.


Solo Sex Positions

Just like in regular sexual intercourse, solo sex has several positions to be explored. It may take a few tries to settle on the one that works just right for you. However, there is no hurry. These positions include:

The Old-fashion Lying on Your Bank

Solo Sex Positions

Excellent for clitoral stimulation when engaging in self-sex is one of the most effective because of how simple it is. Lie flat on your back with your legs splayed in the air for this style. You can then rub your clitoris, increasing the tempo as you like.


An almost guaranteed way of achieving orgasm for vulva-havers, like the previous position, squatting is a comfortable position to practice masturbation. It can also be a helpful way to find your g-spot located along your vaginal wall. To try it out, try the following: squat down until the heels of your feet touch your thighs. Then use your fingers or a toy to touch yourself in a pleasurable way. 

The Reflected Gaze

The Reflected Gaze

This solo sex position is great for anyone looking to explore their body. It involves engaging in solo sex while standing before a mirror. Explore your erogenous zones while staring at your reflection. Admiring yourself can be a huge turn-on. You may want to smear lube all over your body or even use sex toys. For people assigned female at birth, the idea of exploring in this way may seem awkward, but it is worth a try.

The Doggy

Doggy is one of the most popular sex positions. However, you can modify it for self-pleasure. You may want to try out this masturbation idea if you are into anal play. Try lying face down on the bed and reach for your anus with one hand and your clitoris with the other. Massage both at the same time. This solo sex position opens you up to so much pleasure.


How to Have Solo Sex

First off, it is important to establish that there is no one route to self-pleasure. In learning to give yourself pleasure, the focus should be on the trials and not necessarily the climax. Thus, this could mean that you may have to try out a couple of options before settling on the one for you. The tips and suggestions below serve as a generic guide.



In discovering how to satisfy yourself, you must be comfortable. Hence, the first thing is to relax. Try not to be tensed or stressed and intentionally clear your mind. Listen to music, engage in mediation, take a hot bath, or perhaps after exercising. The idea is to find ways to loosen the knots in your muscles.

Learn How to Finger Yourself

There are right and wrong ways of fingering when engaging in solo sex. Your movements should be slow and sensual. Apart from concentrating on the clitoris, you may want to pay attention to the areas around it. Also, do not ram your fingers (or balled fist) into your vagina. If you must go fast, ease into it slowly.

Invest in “Masturbation” Items

Invest in "Masturbation" Items

When learning how to pleasure ourselves, we may need some help. Gadgets and items that foster climax, for example, any items that help set the mood. Use pillows and blankets to create a masturbation zone. These allow you to be comfortable throughout the session.

Sex toys and other gadgets are another way to stimulate your desire. There are several on the market, made explicitly with vulva-havers in mind. Beyond that, if you have kinks or fetishes, you will find some that will catch your fancy.

Discover Your Erogenous Zones

Erogenous zones are the specific body parts that give you the most pleasure. Think of maybe your nipples, thighs, etc. It varies from one person to the next. Discover yours.

Go Slow

One advantage of going solo is that you can regulate things at your pace. Thus, make sure to go slow. Take the time to build up the tension for an explosive finish.


Sexual satisfaction is not a myth. As a vulva-haver, you could even attain this satisfaction all on your own. This article shows you how.